Blog.7: Reality is sinking in

This week is… as the few before.  Living in a small town is relaxing, but also predictable.  We did have a visitor from Calgary this weekend, which was nice.  Work was work. Getting ready for an audit, which has been extremely boring for me, as I am the one finding all the prescriptions over the past year in stored away boxes, in a dusty warehouse locker.  I’ve realized living here that most of my life has been a fantasy.  I never had to get a job when I was a teen, I got purchased a house when I was 21 years old, I got a car in my parents divorce, etc… so everything was just handed to me.  Now I am saving my money from selling the house, what is left after travelling, and I am working to only spend my own money to pay rent and bills.  This has been eye-opening to say the least.  I am getting paid $10.50 an hour and I am going to start working as a waitress again just to make some more money on the side.  This is barely getting me to break-even.  I’m realizing very quickly that my lifestyle before was not realistic, not even close.  I always felt that people could make it easier on themselves if they just tried to change, but now I see that my words were coming from spoiled girl.  What I am also realizing is that I’m not as conducive to change as I once thought, and I am really struggling to except my new reality.  I have major ups and downs about my life, and its hard for me to not worry about my future.  I’m realizing that if I stayed in the job I currently have, that I can’t support a family, and give my future children any type of similar experiences like I have had.  This is not what I want.  I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, and start changing were I can for the future.  I wish everyone didn’t have to struggle, and I am sorry for being so blind to reality.  Thanks for reading, and be aware and eat with care.